Monday, February 24, 2020

The passing on of Frank (March 16, 1995)



                                                                                                                  March 16, 1995

Jimmy called saying that Frank ``has passed on.''
I'd expected to hear this for months after having seen Frank during Christmas, and old man at 45, who could barely hold his head up or pronounce his own name. Seeing him them had disturbed me, and made me feel as if time had hurried for this man -- he and his life time of habit making him live at an accelerated pace, the women, the dope, the years of smoking and booze, wearing out his organs so quickly as to age him overnight.
 Yet the words did not seem real over the telephone. Dead? Frank? The man who had changed my life with his attitude and his sense of freedom, his vibrant and crazy sense of living saving me from my world of confusion at age 16. The moment I met him in the theater, I admired him, and it is to this crazy man my thoughts go whenever his name comes up. How could that usher who sang Born Free in the middle of Paterson at midnight be dead?
 ``He died in his sleep,'' Jimmy said, trying to comfort me, his voice artificially nonchalant. After years of mocking Frank, making fun of his deadly habits, Jimmy finally succumbed to the fact there is no hope for Frank -- Frank lived and died by his habits and would not change.
 Then with a rush of other details about the viewing, he was gone, and I was left with a thousand questions, and this growing pain, this sense of loss, as if finally, Frank had gone someplace where I could not. All my life has been a memory of him. When I was younger, I was constantly running back to him, even in my thoughts, looking for that sense of joy he exuded when we first met. I feel now the way I felt when I heard John Lennon was dead: as if there is now no going back to old joys, that life goes on without Frank or a reunited Beatles, and that if I am to have joy, it must be of my own manufacture.
 Last year, Frank lost a weekend. He literarily didn't remember what happened between Friday and Sunday -- at which point he found himself in the hospital. This time, he lost control of his limbs. He couldn't hold a cardboard box or a spoon. His limbs jerked and the doctors ordered him into the hospital. No one knows why this happened, or why he had a lost weekend earlier. It just did. But Garrick called him at the hospital offering to come see him.
 ``I'm tired, Rock,'' Frank said. ``This is really bad.''
 When the spasm -- if that's what it was -- ended, the hospital released him. He came home yesterday, feeling very weary. He needed to hook himself up to his kidney machine, something he'd been on now for over a year, but was too tired. He sent his nephew away, saying he would hook himself up in the morning. At 4:30 a.m. he called his mother asking for his nephew.
 ``It's four thirty in the morning, Frank,'' his mother said.
 ``Oh,'' Frank said, then hung up.
 Apparently in the night, he attempted to hook himself up. All the bags were in place, but he seems to have laid down before making the final connection.
 ``I think he went in his sleep,'' his mother told me. ``At least I want to think that.''
 I believe it. But it still shocks me. Frank Quackenbush was one of the pivotal people in my life, and his memory will remain fixed in me until the day I die, as the person who helped save me.



No comments:

Post a Comment