Saturday, February 15, 2020

12 - You’re in the army now (early 1969)






In the early 1969 the male members of the Garland Gang faced the biggest obstacle in their young lives: how to avoid being drafted.
To my knowledge I was one if the only one who actually served in the military during that time. If there were others, I was never able to determine who the other lucky participants were.
Jimmy, Frank, Garrick, Bob, Alf, Wayne Hoover and all the others each found their own unique way of escaping military service.
The big difference is that while they were trying to find a way to stay out of the army, I was desperately seeking a way to get in.
I had fallen in love and was totally confused and saw the Army as a kind of French Foreign Legion where I could go off to contemplate my future. But each I applied the doctors in Newark rejected me because I had some kind of kidney ailment that precluded me from serving.
Frank kept telling me how lucky I was only I didn't see it that way.
In those days we all had to go to the Federal Building in downtown Newark, a huge black Spike on Broad Street where we all had to go through the ritual of physical.
Many of us had heard the strategies for how to get rejected which included taking a lot of drugs the night before or in the weeks before and then getting rejected on account of strange blood ailments.
This was Wayne Hoover's solution; he took so many drugs of such a variety that they rejected him immediately. Unfortunately overtime this proved detrimental to his kids who wound up with a series of problems that included seizures.
Bob Warren had heard that if you ingested massive amounts of cotton balls the X-ray would show a growth inside of him which he did. But he had also done so many drugs for so long that it is hard to tell whether it was the massive use of drugs or the detection of a mass inside of him that ultimately gave him the 4f status he so desperately wanted.
Garrick had hearing so bad even then he could not hear half the stuff that was being sent through the headset. He kept asking them when they were going to start the test, and so eventually they came to realize he couldn’t hear and gave him a 4-f distinction.
Frank was deathly afraid of needles -- something that would get him in deep trouble later in life.  When the Army doctors took blood, he fainted.  This combined with how frail and underweight he was giving him a 4-f distinction as well.
Jimmy, of course, should have been exempt because of his conviction on pot possession. He had been caught copping pot at the Agora coffee house in Montclair at some point earlier.
But just to make sure he went in and talked to the army psychologist.  They were behind closed doors for almost an hour.  Nobody actually knows what Jimmy said and he never revealed it either.  But when he got out, he had a 4-f stamp on his forms.
Meanwhile after being rejected by the Army doctors because of blood in my urine, I went to a local doctor at St. Joe's to get a re-evaluation.  When those tests confirmed the Army's test, I stole a piece of letterhead from the doctor and then typed out of clearance form on my grandmother's typewriter in the attic.
Then when it came time to take the urine test in Newark, I switched cups with someone else and thus passed.  all this would later become my salvation when the Army decided to change my MOS and send me to Vietnam.
Jimmy was delighted at my becoming a soldier not because he wanted to see me fight in the war but because he had other uses for me as someone in uniform.
He would fully exploit this over the summer of 69.











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