Monday, February 24, 2020

Bad Christmas? (Dec. 26, 1996)




 Dec. 26, 1996

Two years ago, Jimmy refused to come to our Christmas eve affair at Frank and Dawns. Perhaps he knew Frank would die before the next year was out and didn’t want to witness the sad character Frank had become, choosing to remember him from the more vibrant past.
Rocky, Frank and I made a caravan from Haledon to Sparta and then privately fumed about Jimmy’s not coming. I suppose I needed to share this last moment which Jimmy denied me – a bit of selfishness I suppose that I eventually felt less guilty about.
 But this year, Jimmy’s arrival seemed mysterious, and he seemed locked into his moody plots, a regular conspiracy theorists, whose speculations boarder on the bizarre (he telling us the world has been invaded by aliens and that the government is using the popular movies to tell us about it.) We spent hours listening to his diatribe, which on any other day, I would have enjoyed, but somehow ruined the day. I had come to the holiday to relive the past, to celebrate our survival as friends, to plan for closer connections in the future. I did not want to hear talk of a possible 1997 invasion from Mars, or even some global catastrophe such as the rising seas or melting ice caps.
Sometimes I just want Christmas to be Christmas.

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